This is quite interesting and funny... Check it out!
You complain about the quality of the pirated DVD you just purchased. "What, RM10 for DVD5?! Aiyah, boss ... sound no good, cheaperlah ..." (Do u really bargain at a pirated CDs/DVDs stall at night market? I don't though i rarely purchase one. Better grap and pay and get off as fast as possible since u r conspiracy to a crime!! hahaa..)
You're willing to consume sambal petai and durian and gladly suffer the bloating and wind-breaking incidents. (haha! Yeah, better stay off from one who have just eaten petai and durian, if u do not wish to smell the 'wind' from his/her stomach! Kentut tak habis-habis!!)
You're exceedingly polite to the Mat Sallehs but you slag your own kind. "Hello, sir. Why don't you sit here, it’s got the best view of the city skyline." But, "Aunty-ah, your table is over there next to the kitchen." (Sigh... What to do, Manglish is like that "de-la".... =p)
You order Maggi goreng and fried chicken, complain about how oily the food is, and then proceed to finish it anyway. (Not only this, some would probably say that they will never order these again cuz it's not nice. But the next time or so they will 'automatically' order the same food again without realises how yucky they had complained the last time)
You love to talk about food. You're already thinking about what to have for dinner while eating lunch. "I'm stuffed. What shall we have for dinner?" (hmm, never leave 'food' out of ur mind. Worst still, supposedly focus on lectures in class, instead focus on 'what to eat for lunch later', especially when ur stomach is crying for food! Were u in class? or in 1Utama just now?)
You hit the accelerator the moment the first drop of rain hits your windshield. "Alamak, it's going to rain. Sure traffic jam one. I'd better drive faster." (Jam may be cuz by flash floods at several main roads due to the poor drainage system along the road side; Or accidents caused by careless driver on slippery roads. And the jam could prolong my usual driving distance from college to home of 13 mins to 2 hours or more!!)
You seize the opportunity to make a U-turn anywhere ... especially where there is a sign telling you not to. Well, so long as the cops aren't in sight. (and this will cause other vehicles on the same lane to be slowed down. R u trying to challenge the cops or that u have enough cash in ur wallet?)
You forsake your loved ones for the all-important four letter-word: S-A-L-E. "Sorry, mum, I can't take you to Aunt Mary’s because I have to go to MidValley before the crowd." You’re also more than happy to be part of the insane traffic jam that forms around malls during weekends and sale periods. (Luckily shopping is not part of my hobbies... Btw, I don't like crowded places.)
Reality shows Akademi Fantasia and Malaysian Idol dictate your social life. "What, no TV at the mamak? Count me out — I'm staying home. Rinie needs my support." (I'm not really into all these competitions. Erm, but for certain awards , i would rather stay at home to watch them live though..)
You pepper every sentence with lah. "No-lah, I can't see you today-lah. I have to study-lah. You know-lah, the prison warden aka mak is watching me like a hawk" (That's the way of pure Manglish, rite? Apalah = what-lah; kenapalah = why-lah; saya lah = me-lah; hehehee...)
You fail to function normally without your daily dose of teh tarik and nasi lemak. (huh? I think there are lesser people like this nowadays... at least i can't find one around me.)
You have owned at least one Proton in your lifetime. Cheap, cheap. That is until you start to make enough dough to buy that Honda you've been salivating over. (My brother had been complained bout local cars in particularly its qualities and designs. Guess what? The 1st car he bought for himself after working was Proton Waja! Hahahahaa!)
You slow down at an accident site to take down the car number plate, but won't step out of your car to help — the victim could be a robber! (All Malaysian are 'kepoh' in nature! and from there u may be traped in a jam for a few KMs away. If u r not one, probably u r just extraordinary as compare to others...)
You'd rather park your car along the main road outside the mall, where there's a yellow line, rather than pay RM1 to park inside where there are adequate bays. (It's fine, if u r waiting in the car whilst someone gets down to buy things; it's fine again if u can park ur car nicely without blocking other roadusers' ways; or else others might feel GOOD to see ur car been towed off by the local authority! Min RM300 each time!)
You plead, bat your eyelids and relate a sob story to the officer at the town council office to let you off the hook (or reduce the amount considerably) for the fine you incurred when you parked your car on the double line. (Only Uncles and Aunties would do that rite? Young people would choose to pay it all, or appeal within a week time; or not paying at all... Some people even have a collection of all the parking summonds, with different colors for different period... cool~)
You make an appointment for 10am and conveniently show up a half hour late — Malaysian time, what ... (This is a real common 'disease' among Malaysian! Most people have this thought that 'other people will be late anyways even if u r making it on time'... I strongly object!I hate being late. If u know u'll be late for that appointment (though not purposely), to the least, call the person(s) to inform them bout it... Time seems to be running extremely slow when u r waiting/ hoping it to pass quickly...)
You pop open the wet tissue packet at the Chinese restaurant by squeezing the trapped air to the top of the packet before proceeding to smash your fist into it. The louder the pop the better. (I did that when i was younger, erm... during primary school. I find it rather childish to do so as i grow older... in fact, we usually returned it to the restaurant waiter. Btw, it's cost RM1 per packet.)
You greet your friend / neighbor / acquaintance on the street with "How are things?" or "Have you eaten?" or better yet, by stating the obvious: "Went to market ah?" (Some people r somehow weird; they will ask u "going to school ar?" when they see u carrying ur school bag(s); "Just taken ur bath ar?" when they see ur hair still wet; "washing ur car ar?" when they see u using a piece of soak clothe wiping ur car...)
You have roughly six meals a day (breakfast, mid-morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper). Then there's the snacking — keropok ikan, pisang goreng, muruku, jam tarts and the like. (No! this is not my daily life like. I only experienced six meals per day during a camp - PROSTAR for 4 days 3 nights at Dusun Eco Resort, Bentong, Pahang back in June 1999. I wonder if that is the typical malays' life style?)
You get the whole family dressed to the nines, jump into the car and head for the minister's open house — and ask for styrofoam boxes and plastic bags to tar pau food. (No way!! my mum or dad would be 'ignored' by us, siblings, if they were to do that!!hahaa.. )
Your accent and language style vary according to the race of the person you are conversing with. (YEAH!! Dont know why but this is true! Really!)
You've got a friendly disposition. Smiles are abundant and your "Apa khabar?" is warm and sincere. (hmm... We have something that others dont have huh... ;-) big claps for urself~)
You exclaim loudly how expensive everything is, even though the items may in fact be going for a steal. "Wah! So expensive, ah? Hak sei ngor (Scare me to death)!" (Hahahaa :D)
You never travel abroad without a bottle of chilli sauce, or sachets which you can sneak into restaurants. (Oh No! I have never meet such person(s) before... Tell me if u r one. hehee!)
You "dis" our country all the time, but as soon as something good happens (like winning the Thomas Cup), you morph into a proud Malaysian. (Frankly, Malaysia is not that bad. In fact quite a good one among other developing countries. It's just human nature, always wanting better... rarely feels enough in oneself. This may be a source for self improvement though... It's good to looking forward, but too much 'ahead' is probably only a dream...)
