Sometimes I just hated myself for being too sensitive and that caused me to be a paranoid. And most of the time my sixth sense tells me the precision. It' s always easy to 'say' what-to-do and what-not-to-do... eg: "U can't stop what a person have to say about u, so u should just ignore them.". But frankly, when these things really happen to me, it's hard to pretend to be a deaf, or pretend that nothing have ever happened. Yeah... and that's me, Beez!
I can always tell what a person actually is after a few conversations, or sometimes, even after the first interaction. I won't say that I'll be right all the times, but most of the time. And that would caused me into blue-ish mood. Yeah, a typical piscean - MOODY! I do take all relationships seriously, be it between my family, in love, or friendships... and when I say ALL, I mean it!
Let's pick 'Friendship'.
I love getting to know new people around me. I do treat all friendships sincerely. But as a matter of fact, there are lotz of people coming to u for certain reasons. I'll be hoping for 'good reasons' though. But as soon as I discovered these 'facts'... I'll be like an apple throwing down from the 11th floor of a 27th floors building (don't ask me why these odd numbers being used :p)... Yeah, I'll be pretty sad for that.
I had a table-talk topic with my mates the other day, on the topic of 'who do u think has the most arrogant look in X place'. I did not have an answer to that question, and I did not agree to whose name they have suggested.
As I put it this way: Some people just wasn't born with a 'friendly look'... like myself. But if u really get to know him/her, u'd probably know that u have misjudged them earlier. There is no fault of either party. It's just a mistake, a 'reasonable' mistake.
People have been telling me, or rather, commented me on that ever since I was 7 year-old... usually they asked me to SMILE more often. I actually does that most of the time, but normally among the group of friends I used to hang out with... Those who know me for long would say I'm 'sporting, crazy, and nice'. It'll be a total contradictory comment from those who doesn't really know me.
Well, to simplify this... it's either U Like me or U Hate me! (and I can know this precisely even without u telling me :p) I'm fine with both, though I'll be 'moody' over the latter. And please welcome to be my friend especially if u're sincere... I'm just being hurt too much by insincere friendships, I need healing-hands, indeed. And I think I have found ONE now, J... I'm glad to have J who are happy to tell me his story and vise versa.
Just WISH that I'm a person who couldn't care more bout others, but sadly, I'm not. I do care!
